It's a 2-Way Street

parent coach parenthood lessons parenting Oct 26, 2022

What if you put a ton into your relationship, but your kid doesn't do their part?

This weekend I facilitated the AWAKEN THE WISE MAMA retreat, immersed in the incredible beauty of a Northern Michigan Autumn on the shore of Long Lake in Traverse City. It was truly glorious and a huge success for each courageous parent who decided to take a leap, shack up with 7 other mamas, buckle in for transformational parenting work, and let themselves be pampered and cared for like few moms ever experience. Absolutely amazing.

After we waved goodbye to our last guests, I took Chef Andrew out for a celebratory dinner, and he remarked on how universal the parenting topics we covered were.

“Even though I’m not a parent, this stuff applies to all relationships, not just kids. But with other relationships, it’s a 2-way street - both parties have to put in the effort to make it work. It must be so much harder with kids - what if they don’t want to try?”

I love this question SO much because it shows a common misconception that many of us have. When you look at your relationship with your child, it’s easy to think you are the one doing the heavy lifting while your kid is choosing between pulling their weight or just screwing around.

This could not be further from the truth!

Unlike any other relationship, a parent is in a relationship with someone who cannot HELP but work at connecting with them 24/7. A child is like a magnet being pulled to its parent by biological forces beyond their control. They are in your retractor beam at all times.

So what gets in the way?

Unfortunately, the answer is - our own ‘stuff’: stories about being a good parent, worries about others, fears for the future, unmet needs, lack of information, and unfinished business…as we work on this stuff, we are able to be truly present with and attuned to our child, and the rest takes care of itself.

Imagine your child is desperately trying to reach you, and you are just on the other side of a wall of this ‘stuff.’ That’s all that stands between you both and a healthy, bonded, and beautiful connection. It’s my job to help you remove that stuff, and pretty soon, the two of you are running full steam toward each other like a corny reunion scene in a rom-com.

What if your kid is actually doing a ton of heavy lifting in your relationship right now, and all the crap that drives you nuts about them is just their childish way of attempting to connect with you? What an incredible opportunity for you both!!!

Let’s do something with that opportunity! Set up a free Curiosity Call, and I’ll help you see how to get connected again.