A Slamdunk Response To NegativityJan 17, 2023
Do you have a kid whose superpower is finding the cloud in every rainbow?
You know, that kiddo who loves to complain, sees the downside, and only shares the worst parts of their day??
It’s like living with Eeyore, coming down from ecstasy, singing a country song, at a funeral.
I get it - I have an Eeyore too. Here’s what I used to do when she would sing her country song:
- Try to cheer her up and point out the bright side
- Change the subject
- Roll my eyes and sigh (let’s be honest)
- Tell her (in the nicest way I could) that her attitude was the problem
- Prove her sob story wrong with concrete examples
She added me to her list of crappy things about her life and kept on singing louder than ever.
Why? Because kids identify with their emotions. To them, feelings aren’t temporary.
Kids don’t just feel sad; they are sad.
When kids share their feelings, they are telling us about themselves, not asking for a solution. And when we push against their emotions, we push against who they are. So, they cling to their identity even more fervently. And Eeyore persists.
If you are living with an Eyore
If you are living with an Eeyore and trying desperately to turn their frown upside down, just STOP. Instead, simply say two magic sentences:
I hear you. I get it.
Do. Not. Say. More. (even though you really want to!) Your kid is telling you who they are - they just need to be heard and seen.
For one mama in my group program, this one-liner has been such a game-changer that it has become her mantra with her 6-year-old:
“The first time I said it, he just stopped talking and looked at me. Then he brought up something else, and we moved on. It was like magic!”
This kind of shift is what I absolutely love about my group program - you will learn what’s going on inside that beautiful kid of yours, plus tangible parenting skills that incorporate all that info. The results are, just like this mom said, pure magic. Are you ready for this magic in your family? I am ready for you! Set up a free call and let’s see what shifts we can create today!