Being Calm Doesn't Solve Anything

parent coach parenting parenting help Jan 15, 2023

A mama in my group program vented, 

“My kid constantly complains about everything. I can’t get them to stop.” 

I asked, “How do you take care of yourself when they act this way?” 

She laughed, “Ha! I don’t think getting my nails done or a spa day will fix this.”

“What I mean is, how do you handle what is going on inside you when they complain?”

“OK, but what difference will that make? It’s not going to change their complaining.”

“Great question!” I said, 

“What happens when you DO take care of yourself?” 

I could actually SEE her body relax as she answered, “I feel a lot calmer.” 


When kids struggle…when a kiddo is scared of the dark, stirred up about school drama, or hellbent on arguing…calmness can seem like a pretty lame strategy. It won’t stop the fear, fix the drama, or nix the arguing! Don’t you hate how most parenting involves problems that are either unsolvable or solvable only by our kids? It seems like nothing we do makes a difference! 

I watched a lightbulb go off for her as she decided:

“I can make a difference by being calm.” 

The next week, she reported that she had chosen to take care of herself. For her, that meant leaving the room and breathing when she got upset and only hanging around her kiddo's complaining when she could be calm and neutral instead of trying to cheer them up or change their outlook. “It’s so strange - there has been much less complaining lately! I think they just needed me not to push against their complaints!” 

This mom went from powerless to powerful just in one shift!

In my group program, you will learn to embrace that. While you can’t fix stuff for your kids, you can make a huge difference in their lives simply by being calm, and you’ll learn HOW to find that calmness by uncovering what ‘taking care of yourself’ means to you. This is just one of a million skills and shifts my clients make to create the life they want with their kids.

Are you ready? 

If you’re ready to be calm RIGHT NOW and get results from your kids TODAY, let’s talk now. There is time on my calendar to meet with me as soon as tomorrow! We’ll go over the challenges you’re facing, talk about how the group can help, and identify a plan for creating the outcome you want. Click here to book a free call, and let’s go!