Fearless Momming In Scary TimesApr 09, 2020
Moms in general seem to be wired to worry (thanks a lot, evolution), even in the best of times. We all carry some fear, and usually it's like background noise - still there, but you might not notice it.
New situations with new risks, turn up the volume, though. And just like a disease that weakens our immunity, fear weakens our resilience and makes us susceptible to emotional pressure. If you're feeling overwhelmed and that your coping skills are gone these days - it probably has less to do with unsolved challenges, and more to do with previously-silent fears becoming so loud you can't hear a damn thing else!
When I used to teach birth classes, I focused on fear because it has a negative impact on labor. A scared mom can literally stop her labor, even if her fear is something relatively minor, like being startled by a stranger entering the room. And sometimes the fears moms shared were NOT minor. Listening to a mom tell you she's afraid she might die, or that something is wrong with her baby, is a weighty job. And, unfortunately, explaining how unlikely these things are, is totally useless. Working with pregnant moms has taught me something so important for us all: Rationalization doesn't eliminate fears; working with and THROUGH fears is the only way to get out from under them. So I had to fight my urge to say, "It's going to be ok! Don't worry!" and instead I met my clients in their fear.
Now we're in quarantine and dealing with coronavirus...and it feels SO reminiscent of my work with pregnant moms. We have BIG fears - some are so looming that we might not be able to name them at first, or even realize that they are running our lives. The great news is that those tools that helped my pregnant clients, work for the rest of us too. The paradoxical key is to give up the fight for fearlessness. Let yourself be afraid. The fear is allowed to exist, and it may never be totally gone, but there's a big difference between YOU owning your life vs. fear owning you.
When you think about it, learning how to coexist with fear and risk is kind of the whole point of momming. Danger is everywhere, and when we've given our hearts over to tiny creatures, that danger is multiplied because we're worried about more than just ourselves. Nothing can change that - but when you learn to own your life and your fears, move forward and feel truly free even while that danger exists, the joy and balance we're seeking with our children flows easily into our lives.
If you are struggling with fear, now is actually the BEST time to take a leap and get on top of it. Helping moms get out from under their anxieties and be the boss of their lives and families again is a huge part of what I do, and the scarier the world feels, the more important this kind of work becomes for people just like you. Fearless momming in ANY circumstance starts with a free discovery call. We'll talk about what's weighing on you and how to turn it around. You'll walk away from your call hopeful and ready for fearless joy in motherhood, even if the things you worry about are very real.