You're Only as Happy as Your Saddest KidApr 18, 2023
You're only as happy as your saddest kid.
Have you ever heard this expression? Even if you haven’t, I bet it evokes a familiar feeling in you, right? There is this idea in parenting that our kids’ happiness is on us; we feel a little guilty when our kids are struggling, don’t we? Even when we know it’s not about us, that burden is still there. I think this motto encapsulates our cultural attitudes toward parenting very well.
And it’s utter BULLSH*T.
What a setup! If my kid is sad, I can’t be happy? Great - no pressure, kids! Hope you figure out how to be happy so you don’t ruin your parents’ lives! Actually, I guess us parents better start trying to MAKE you happy (as if we could) so we’re not trapped in misery. No wonder so many families struggle with parenting that is controlling, emotionally manipulative, or meddling!
In the world around us, there is a towering shrine to codependency that is so ubiquitous we hardly notice until we are so steeped in sadness and obligation to our families that something has to give.
My job is to help you get as far away from that shrine as possible. I teach my clients to release this attitude and instead live by another philosophy:
I won’t give up until I have achieved what I KNOW is true: it is possible for me to be happy and calm while someone I love is sad and upset.
A little secret? The more you adopt this philosophy, the faster your child will actually BE happy and calm themselves. It’s a crazy irony, but true, I promise.
This way of being opens up a whole new world of opportunity for parents and children, one where we are free to hold boundaries when necessary, explore and discover ourselves, have healthy relationships, and experience fulfillment and joy - even when kids misbehave, even when we don’t agree, even when our children (or we) haven’t learned a skill or behavior yet.
Imagine how different, peaceful, healthy, and rewarding your life with your child could be if you believed this new philosophy in your bones and lived it every day. If you are ready for that awakening, I am ready for you. Set up a free discovery call with me so I can hear your story and get you started on a whole new trajectory. See you soon!
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