Limit Gifts Without Being a ScroogeDec 19, 2023
Limit Gifts Without Being a Scrooge - When I was a kid, the holidays were a gift explosion. Growing up in an interfaith home, we celebrate Christmas and Chanukah. Eight nights of presents + overflowing stockings + a Christmas tree practically floating on a sea of presents = bonkers.
I'd love to say that realizing the reason for the season led me to put the kibosh on the present overload, but honestly, I just couldn't deal. The first year I hosted Christmas, I realized the responsibility of stuffing stockings, feeding everyone, making sure the tree didn't look 'meager'... all fell on me! And after a visit to the dollar bin at Target yielded a big dent in my wallet and barely enough to stuff one stocking with crap no one wanted anyway, I realized quickly that this was just crazy.
Now, how I handle the holidays is simple and, most importantly, true to ME, not everyone else's expectations and ideas. I had to overcome my own 'yeah-buts' to follow my gut on how I handle this time of year. You might have some of the same 'yeah-buts' I did:
What if the rest of the family doesn't follow my approach?
Good! You aren't meant to control the rest of the world for your child, and learning that everyone does things differently is a great lesson that won't spoil your child. Show loads of gratitude and love, and your child will follow suit. Trying to control the gift experience by making outside family members get in line only strains relationships and makes no difference whatsoever to kids' learning (or, in some cases, in how many gifts are sent!). Managing your own choices and feeling good about it, even when it means fewer gifts, doesn't make you a Scrooge. A real Scrooge is the person who gets so wrapped up in controlling everything that they spend the holiday angry and raining on everyone's parade.
What if I'm always giving the lame gifts?
Of all the people in your child's life, you are the last one who needs to worry about impressing your kid with material things. The gifts you give your child all year long are the reason your relationship is what it is, and nothing will ever change that. A loving childhood is enough, I promise. And kids really don't care which gifts came from whom. If you don't believe me, ask them who gave them each gift when it's time to write thank-you notes!
Ultimately, this all comes down to knowing ourselves, feeling comfortable parenting from that knowledge, and letting everything else fall away. This is hard to do on our own - so many 'shoulds' get in the way, and that's where I come in. It's my job to help you reconnect with yourself, figure out how that translates into actual parenting decisions and skills, and overcome anything that might hold you back from walking your path as a parent. The journey starts with a Discovery Call where you share your story, and I give you guidance that helps you take the first step. Click here to set it up today.**
Ask for coaching this year!
**Remember! For the rest of 2023, anyone enrolling in one of my coaching programs (private, couples, or group) receives a $500 reduction in their enrollment fee.
Maybe you and your partner decide to give this to each other. Perhaps you choose to give it to yourself. However, we get to work together, this is one expense that won't leave you feeling empty when the decorations are put away, and the last bit of pie is gone.
Learn more about group parent coaching here.
Find me on social media:
Listen to my podcast - Confessions of a Parent Coach (or wherever you choose to listen!)