Looking for what is MISSING in your parenting?Feb 09, 2021
I had a session with a mom the other day who really wanted to get to the bottom of her son’s anger and defiance. “I keep wondering what’s missing that would make him calm down and listen. Is it a developmental piece? Is there a parenting thing he needs from me?”.
I asked her to consider that perhaps nothing was missing, that there was nothing missing in her son or in herself.
When we're not careful, motherhood becomes a neverending LOOKING FOR LACK. We look to see where our parenting I slacking, our children are lacking, their environment is lacking, WE as mothers are lacking...do you know what this leads to?
Blindness to our children. We are so fixated on what they are NOT, we don’t see who they ARE, which means we are not responding to their actual needs. What if there is nothing missing in this boy? Instead of a mom trying to make him into the calm, peace-loving person he will never be, what if he just needs someone to teach him how to navigate the world as the fiery, righteous person he is?
What happens when we really see our child? A dad I've been working with summed it up on our session today: "Before we worked with you, it was like our son was ruled by some other dominant jerk personality that really wasn't him. Now he's the kid we knew he had inside."
This is what is possible when we stop reacting to all the ways we and our children are falling short of the mark and instead tune into WHO we and our children really are. This dad gets to enjoy the truth of his son, because he first decided to SEE and respond to the truth of his son. This is the profound joy of my work: my own joy in seeing families heal themselves, and families' joy as they reconnect with the truth of themselves: Love, safety, trust and connection.
If you're ready to create this for yourself too, it's time for us to talk. Click here to book a free Discovery Call and let's get going!
Thanks for reading,