This isn't how it was supposed to be!Feb 02, 2021
Have you ever felt like parenthood just isn’t what you expected?
Actually, let me rephrase that: Has parenting EVER been what you expected?
Personally, my life continues to mock the vision I had of parenting, and the longer I am a mother, the less my life resembles anything close to what I thought it would.
This used to cause me excruciating pain. I would ugly-cry when things weren’t how they were ”supposed to be.”
- When my baby would NOT sleep train until 13 months
- When my daughter wasn't thriving in traditional school
- When my son wouldn't open up and talk with me no matter what I did
- When my teen headed off to wilderness therapy...that DEFINITELY wasn't how it was supposed to be.
Life just doesn’t fulfill our expectations...like, ever. And my brain LOVES to make that mean that things are messed up...and that I, personally, have messed up. This is trash, and here’s how I know:
What if I never thought my baby would sleep through the night before 13 months? What if I had no assumptions about what kind of school my daughter would attend? What if I thought going on a wilderness quest for 3 months at 16 was just a given? I would have seen what my children needed more clearly, given it to them sooner, and allowed all of us to enjoy having our needs met without any judgment.
The truth is that our UNMET EXPECTATIONS themselves cause pain, not the reality of what actually is. Parents are so much more effective when they trust that things are happening just the way they are meant to. This doesn’t mean things don’t require attention and action, it just means that the nonsense that blocks us from giving that attention and action, can get the F out of the way!
This week, I want you to look at life without any preconceived ideas about how things are supposed to look. If you weren’t disappointed or self-critical, but just assessing the facts, how would you feel? What would you do? How would you show up with your child?
When we drop our expectations, we can simply respond to reality, learn what is needed, put it into practice, and let the pain and drama fall away. This is my job. I help moms create this for themselves through my work, and I can do it for you too. Ready? Set up a free discovery call, and let’s do this thing!