When your parenting problem never changesJun 22, 2020
Have you ever noticed how the issues you work the hardest to improve seem to be the ones that refuse to die? Think about your biggest mom challenge right now (Repeating yourself? Getting kids to clean up? Keeping your cool? Not playing Ms. Fixit? Finding alone time?). I bet you've worked your butt off to be better about whatever that sticky challenge is, and I bet it keeps coming back to slap you in the face time and again. It's SO FRUSTRATING!
Here's something it helps to learn - we almost never have new problems. Why? Because we understand and navigate the world through our own unique filter and the filter is what creates our problems. It determines what we find hard or easy, what triggers us and what rolls off our backs, what we beat our head against the wall trying to fix and what we solve without even trying.
A lot of people come to personal development work with the idea that we can identify our core issue, fix that issue, then no longer have that issue (maybe we'll have some new problem, but THIS one is resolved).
But the truth is that your issue is always going to be your issue. If you deeply feel it when your kids are upset, for example, that's probably always going to be hard for you. When we try to 'fix' our issue, we lock ourselves in a painful pattern. That filter I mentioned isn't just part of you; it IS you. Getting frustrated because you STILL haven't fixed yourself is useless; you were never broken to begin with.
Getting frustrated because you STILL haven't fixed yourself is useless; you were never broken to begin with.
When we notice and honor that part of ourselves, it stops the painful pattern; we're able to change our useless reactions and behaviors. Instead, we learn to identify better techniques, coach ourselves out of parenting traps, and show up in the world the way we wanted to all along, when we were trying to 'fix' ourselves.
The game-changer for so many moms is deciding to get coaching around parenting and the deeper issues that make certain aspects harder for them. Trying to figure that out on your own is often impossible; we just can't see the forest for the trees.
When you're ready to dig deep and see what's beneath the stubborn repeat problems and patterns with your kids, I'm ready for you.
It starts with a free discovery call where we look at BOTH - the behaviors and challenges you want to change, and what underlies them. I will give you feedback that can change your life the same day we meet; I watch it happen all the time. See you soon, Mama!