Who's Doing A "No-Yell January?"Jan 21, 2020
Every January, in practically every mom group, I see the same post:
"Who wants to commit to a No-Yell January?"
Um...No thanks, Karen.
These challenges make total sense at first. The holidays derailed us in every way, kids were home from school, off-schedule and over-indulged. And it's a new year. Time to start fresh with a commitment to be the mom our kids deserve and get the whole family back on track. Right? Ha!
I see moms do this to themselves every January, and it breaks my heart because it doesn't work. At best it's a temporary improvement. At worst, it's a recipe for an overwhelmed, depleted mom to double both her yelling and her guilt about it. Solving a parenting problem by deciding not to yell is about as effective as silencing a smoke detector to put out a fire.
So, if you signed up for No-Yell January then yelled all month long
Saw a post about No-Yell January and laughed because it seemed hopeless
Ever committed to not losing your sh*t on your kids during any other month, but couldn't make it stick...
You're so normal. We're ALL part of the countless moms who try our damndest to be better and want to quit the nonsense we know we're not "supposed" to do...and then totally botch the whole thing, meanwhile our kids' behavior still sucks and we feel increasingly terrible.
Let's be real - if all we had to do was decide not to yell, we would have done it a long time ago. Remember how some nurse told us when our babies were born, "Crying is a late hunger cue. Your baby has lots of signs they're hungry that they show you long before crying." (that nurse was probably named Karen too, btw).
Let's be real - if all we had to do was decide not to yell, we would have done it a long time ago
Well, our yelling is a LATE imbalance cue. It is the end result of a long chain of crap that's not cool and needs to be fixed. If we can stop hating ourselves for yelling long enough to pay attention to the other things, the yelling takes care of itself. If, on the other hand, we make a rule that we can't yell...we're likely to find ourselves yelling even more!
When it comes down to it, we all want the same things from our parenting efforts:
Just a smooth day where we don't struggle to discipline our kids when they're giving us hell, we're not losing our sh*t repeatedly, our kids behave well and we actually enjoy them. I know that sounds amazing and impossible, but I promise you it's totally doable. I prove it to myself every day in the work I do with my clients and with my own children.
I want to convince you that walking away from No-Yell January (or any other rule about what you're not 'allowed' to do as a mom) could be the key to your least yell-y month of all time!!! Here's how to make that happen:
I am leading a FREE online training that will give you straightforward, easy solutions to the stuff that is stumping you now. You will finish your training with hope and belief in yourself and your family, because you will have a clear direction forward instead of the confusion and guilt we find ourselves trapped in.
It's all about getting off the mommy hamster wheel of trying to stay calm, getting pushed over the edge, then recommitting to keeping our cool...with no change in our kids behavior and more misery and guilt for us! My favorite part in all my trainings is the live coaching - I get to work with a few students right there in class to help them with whatever they feel stuck on.
If what I'm saying here makes sense to you, you NEED to register: