Everyone Makes MistakesAug 15, 2023
"Everyone makes mistakes. Mistakes are natural."
I bet you've said something like this to your kids before, but do you really believe it?
I see the opposite in my work. Parents actually love to rake themselves over the coals for mistakes. That’s why part of my job is holding space for guilt when it bubbles up. Here are a few examples from this week:
- A client beating herself up after overreacting to one of her kids peeing on the other in the bathtub (true story!)
- A parent feeling ashamed over losing her temper in a fight about gummy bears for breakfast.
- A dad who’s sure it’s his fault that his daughter over-apologizes when she messes up.
The Truth Is
The truth is, we have a huge hangup with mistakes! It's no wonder so many of us punish kids for their mistakes - we're punishing ourselves all day long!
Our hearts are so wrapped up in parenting; the stakes feel too high to forgive our screw-ups, and failure is not an option. But you definitely WILL screw up.
Not only is failure an option, but it's also a certainty!
We see evidence of trying, failing, and trying again in all of life, from a vine probing until it finds purchase to climb, to lab mice trying every dead-end until they reach their prize, to us dum-dum parents yelling, lecturing, and bargaining before landing on loving consequences. The way that all of NATURE ITSELF improves itself and moves forward is through failure and (I'm sorry to say):
YOU are not supernatural, and neither is your kid.
What if we put our money where our mouth is when we say mistakes are natural (including our own)? How about really BELIEVING they are signs of progress? What if, every time you needed to discipline your kid, you thought, "My kid is doing the magic stuff that makes life happen." How would your dynamic with yourself and your child change? It would be revolutionary! Are you ready to:
LEARN from your mistakes instead of punishing yourself, and raise kids who can do the same?
I'm ready to help you. I'm talking to parents NOW who are ready to start making big changes in their families. If that's you, click here to book a discovery call.
Pretty soon, you'll be saying corny things like, "I hope I make lots of mistakes today so I can learn something new!" Your kid’s eye rolls will be totally worth it ;)
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