One Item That Will SAVE Your MorningsApr 14, 2021
Morning meltdowns? Here's what I just had to do the other day:
We give Skye his clothes every morning and offer to help him. This particular morning he decided to throw his clothes across the room and whine. No problem! Mike said, "Looks like you want to get dressed on your own this morning. Good for you!" and went on with his own morning prep.
Skye spent the rest of his time whining about needing our help, why won't we help him, this makes no sense, you are so mean, Moooommm.... Daaaadddd....etc.
Meanwhile he put zero clothes on, didn't brush his teeth and missed breakfast.
Here's what Mike and I did:
- Responded ONCE when he first became upset ("Looks like you’re having a rough morning! I'm happy to talk about it when you're ready for your day").
- Calmly went about our business.
- Got our 'just in case' bag, (aka a change of clothes in a grocery bag).
- At about T minus 5 minutes, I calmly said to Mike, "Looks like Skye's getting ready after he gets in the car. No problem! Here's his ‘just in case’ bag."
Did he immediately get ready? Nope. He whined about the injustice of the bag. BUT, about 2 minutes before we had to go, he sprang into action, managing to get dressed and brush his teeth.
He missed breakfast and was upset that we didn't have something prepped for him to eat in the car The bag of clothes stayed home that day, but we always have it 'just in case'
What do you think? Would you try this? Does it sound extreme? Impossible? When I shared this story in the Real Life Momming group, someone said, “I need to work on staying neutral. I start to get upset and that starts the power struggle with my stubborn child.”
Exactly so! This technique can sound harsh or tricky, because people imagine an angry parent passive-aggressively ignoring their kid, then grabbing them and shoving them in the car. But with neutrality, it doesn't have to be charged, negative, or shamey at all. AND when your kiddo finally gets through it, you are there with a huge hug of empathy and support, even if they end up not getting ready on time.
Neutrality is the most important part, which is a cosmic joke since it's also the hardest part!
This is my job - I teach killer parenting skills AND help parents stay neutral. which keeps their discipline moments both effective and loving at the same time.
If you know you want to start doing things this way, but just can’t seem to figure out how, we need to talk. Set up a free Discovery Call and I’ll show you exactly why you’re stuck and how to unstick yourself!