Does Your Kid Open Up or Shut Down?Apr 25, 2023
How likely is your child to spill the tea about their life?
This depends a great deal on how you respond when they share. Freaking out, controlling, or turning conversations into lectures is the quickest way to shut kids down and push them away.
We know this, but it's damn hard to sidestep these pitfalls! Luckily, one simple thing can keep the lines of communication open:
Ask questions with neutrality.
(Are you thinking: I already do ask questions, but it goes wrong anyway?
You're skipping the neutrality piece - I promise.)
Neutrality does NOT sound like:
"What do you mean you didn't turn in your homework?!?!"
"Who started this?"
"Why didn't you do what I asked?"
"Are you sure you want to do that?"
"Don't you think it would be better if you...?"
Asking Neutral Questions Sidesteps Conflict
Asking neutral questions sidesteps conflict, shows your interest, and gives great answers to the unspoken questions kids are asking. (Questions like “hmmm…I wonder if my parent can handle it when the sh*t hits the fan? Are they really a safe space for me?”)
Sound impossibly hard? I know! There is an art to conversation with kids, especially in the words we choose. If you want help in learning how to talk to your kid and ask great questions, you need to join me for my FREE workshop on the 7th or 8th of May (whichever date you prefer):
Words That Work
This workshop will teach you:
- What to say (and what NOT to say),
- How to communicate without an agenda,
- How to express yourself without pressuring or judging on your kiddo
- Good listening skills
So that you will be able to deal with misbehavior, lying, disrespect, arguments, and big emotions, all while nurturing your relationship and connection with your kiddo!
P.S. Replays will be available but only if you're registered, so get on it!!!
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Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/confessions-of-a-parent-coach/id1682341495