I Think it's Time to Try Spanking - A Better PlanAug 08, 2023
Have you ever parented in ways that feel wrong, no matter how much you resolved not to?
I Think it's Time to Try Spanking - For many parents, spanking is that thing*. We were spanked as kids and felt the damage. We know the research and gut feelings saying it’s not right or effective. But that resolve gets tested, and if you have ever:
- felt the reflex to handle your child physically surge inside you,
- acted on that urge either by spanking or being too rough,
- gotten to your wit’s end and thought spanking was the only thing that just might work,
- beaten yourself up for betraying your values after the dust settled,
You are SO not alone.
Believe it or not, I have felt these things too. In fact, my experience with spanking is a motivator behind the work I do today (we teach what we need to learn, right?). Here’s a time when I almost resorted to spanking:
When my second kid was 4, he refused to stay in bed at night, and I was losing it! Normally I don’t care if kids sleep in their beds, their hampers, the floor, or their closet… as long as they are safely in their room, I couldn’t care less. But River was different. He shared a room and climbed into his brother’s bed to pinch him! He pulled out his dresser drawers, climbed up, and yanked everything on the shelves down onto himself! I tried EVERYTHING to get him to stay in bed (or so I thought). Finally, I genuinely thought spanking was the only idea left and told my husband,
“I think we have to start spanking him.”
But I had already begun my work and training, so before I accepted defeat, I explored every single thing I knew about parenting and child development and finally came up with a plan that worked (within one night, btw!) without violating our values.
River is lucky I knew all I did. But it’s not fair to expect ourselves to have an encyclopedic knowledge of child-rearing in order to follow our values. For hundreds of parents, working with me means they don’t have to face these dilemmas alone or parent in ways that feel wrong.
If you feel ready to make a change and want support, I can help you too. Set up a free Discovery Call so I can learn your story, help you create a roadmap to the parent you want to be, and get you started on the journey to make it happen.
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* There are some folks who choose spanking intentionally because they feel it is reasonable, effective, and justified. If this is you, I wish you the best, and we are probably not a good fit for each other. This email is not meant to change your mind. Rather, it is for the parents who want not to spank but find themselves doing it (or almost doing it) anyway.