Why I don't work with kids

Mar 24, 2021

Hey there, warrior parent!

I recently interviewed a bunch of my readers and learned SO much I never knew before.  Turns out, lots of you try interventions and therapies with your kids before working with me.  In fact, I learned (to my surprise!) that some of my most raving fans were skeptical I could help their families only by working with them, and not their kids.

Here’s my favorite quote from one of these interviews, from my client Johnna:

“At first I wasn't buying what you were selling; you don’t even speak to the kids! Everything I had tried had been so focused on the kids, centering around their teachers, counselors at school, or private therapists; it was really kid-centric.  I thought, ‘We're gonna miss a huge piece here.’ And I don't feel that way AT ALL now.”

 People often wonder why I work with parents instead of kids. After all, my clients want to see changes in their kids’ behavior, sooo….???

The simple reason is that parenting is the biggest influence on a child.  If I want to help a kiddo, the best thing I can do for them is support their parents, because nothing in their life will have a more consistent and powerful effect on them than that. My client, Wes, summarized this so well:

"For so long we were worried something was wrong with our son behaviorally. When we found you, we were in crisis mode. Now I realize it's not him; he's safe and healthy. I feel so good about that, and having the tools is really comforting. He thrives on consistency from us, instead of before when we wouldn't know the right responses. And now it's like, Oh, this coaching isn't about my kid's behavior; it's about me!"  

Hearing this from Wes confirmed for me my commitment to working with parents because I saw so clearly that with support and skill-building, a parent can swap a mountain of worry and guilt for relief and confidence. 

I talk to parents all the time who have gone through the wringer trying to help their children. Sometimes outside help for a kiddo is needed. Sometimes we learn that it’s not. 

But one thing never changes - parental support is the key to giving kids what they need consistently.

Kids misbehave. That isn’t the problem. The problem is that parents have to respond to that misbehavior and we don’t always know how.  THAT is why I work with parents. 

If you’re ready to figure out what to do about your child’s behavior, I am SO ready for you. Set up a discovery call and I’ll help you understand how to give your kid what they need consistently.