You're Not SpecialFeb 17, 2023
Ever notice how kids think sh*t doesn't apply to them?
Whether it’s a rule they’re breaking or support they’re rejecting, their unique situation voids everything, right?
It’s always, “Yeah, but…”
- Yeah, but the teacher hates me
- Yeah, but my friend told me to do it
- Yeah, but I don’t need any help
- Yeah, but the other kid started it*
(*all real-life examples from my own amazing, beautiful children, btw)
To them, whatever challenges they face has never before existed, and this specialness means things that apply to or work for others don’t fit for them. As parents, it’s clear that this habit to ‘other’ themselves keeps them from getting help or figuring out how to navigate the constraints of the world they live in. It’s not helpful for them to see themselves this way, and it’s not helpful for us to see them that way either. Instead, we must hold boundaries and validate their emotions, but not feed into the ‘special story’.
Are you 'othering' yourself
But how about you? Are you ‘othering’ yourself and denying yourself what you need to thrive in your unique situation? I hear parents in Discovery Calls do it all the time:
- Yeah, but my kid is neurodivergent
- Yeah, but I’m a single mom
- Yeah, but my partner will never change
- Yeah, but my kid is differently-abled.
Even in singularly challenging situations, ‘othering’ yourself isn’t the answer!
Can you relate?
My group program serves moms of kids with ADHD, Tourrett’s, Downs Syndrome, NVLD, ODD, RAD…all the diagnoses the world throws at kids. And I have clients who are single, married, becoming single, in open relationships, co-parenting…parents who are nonbinary, who are recovering from trauma, who have their own neurodivergence. These widely varied moms aren’t working with me 1:1, they receive coaching TOGETHER, and it WORKS.
Choosing not to ‘other’ themselves has given them access to tools and support that they apply differently to their individual situations. They are learning exactly how to hold boundaries and attune to their specific children, and that makes magic happen in their families.
No matter how unique or hard our situation, nothing exempts us from these universal facts:
- Kids need boundaries and connection, and WE need help and support,
- It’s hard to step into radical responsibility for our story, and
- It’s hard to change.
That’s why it’s worth it to release the specialness.
That's why the time is now, and we need each other. Instead of ‘othering’ ourselves, let’s embrace our commonalities and create an amazing story for our unique families! It starts with a Discovery Call, so click on the link and let’s go.
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