Parenting Beyond Caretaking

Parenting Beyond Caretaking

Has your parenting gone through this fundamental shift?

Parenting Beyond Caretaking | When my first baby was around 4 months old, it looked like he was going to sleep through the night any day, and I couldn’t wait! He was only waking up once each night, and going longer and longer before waking. But then he started waking up 3, 4, sometimes even 5 times a night! Things were quickly spiraling in the very wrong direction.  

Seasoned parents will recognize this as a classic sleep regression and know just how to deal with it, but I didn’t. Luckily, a friend with an older kiddo told us about sleep training (not cry-it-out, don’t worry), and within a few days, he was sleeping through the night. 

A New Woman

I was a new woman…not only because I was finally sleeping (hallelujah!) but also because a fundamental shift had happened in how I saw myself as a mom.   

Newborns are kind of bizarre: they are utterly dependent on us, yet also in charge of us! We respond to their cries without question and give them whatever we can to keep them cozy and calm. Doing this, we create healthy attachments and thriving babies.   

But that’s not forever. 

They develop beyond survival communication and pure dependency. Our connection expands into something more - elements of a more complex relationship emerge, and they can’t be in charge anymore - we must step into that for them.   

For me, sleep training was my first experience of this shift. It was a hard moment where I held firm in a lesson I knew was right for my son, and as a result, he learned a new skill he’d use for the rest of his life. 

The first morning I woke up to my son still asleep in his bed, I peeked in at him and a wave of awe, pride, and responsibility hit me in the gut. He was a new kid with a whole new ability he didn’t have before, and I was the one who taught it to him! I did that! And now he had that! Parenthood is awesome and REAL. I could teach my kid a thing, he could be a more developed person because of ME! This was amazing and serious. I was SO much more than a caretaker now. I was a teacher, a leader, a mentor, a guide…and I wanted to step into that role with both feet, with intention and awareness. Damn. 

My job is helping others step into that role fully and wisely, even if it’s gotten off to a rocky start, even if your kid is a teenager by the time you’re ready to really do it right (whatever that means to you). If this resonates, I am here for you. It starts with a free Discovery Call where you get a taste of me, we see if we’re a good fit, and together we paint a picture of where you want to go and how. Set it up today!

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