The Things We Carry
Sep 23, 2025
The Things We Carry - Last Spring, I was working with a couple when one of them lost their job. He was very stoic about it, and after a few months, he was able to find a new job and get back to work.
The Things We Carry
Fast forward to a session we had in July, when he was so frustrated with himself for having a hair-trigger with his kids at home. As our session unfolded, he observed that his short temper was coming from a pervasive sense of anxiety. He noticed that he was feeling it at work, in his marriage, everywhere, and all the time. He was so frustrated:
“I want to just be like, it is what it is, and not stress about things, but I can’t. And I don’t get it - I have been able to feel differently in the past, but not now. What gives?”
I asked him to recall a time when things were just as wild as they are now, but he didn’t feel so anxious. Do you see where this is heading? It was before he lost his job.
Working Through It
When I asked him how it felt to lose his job, he quickly admitted that it was a huge blow to his self-esteem, which is perfectly understandable. But he remembered that at the time, he was very matter-of-fact about it - when you need a job, you put your big-kid pants on and go get another one. No sense bellyaching.
Adulting
As grownups, there are many moments when we have to put our emotions aside and just adult. We can lose our cool in front of our kids, burn bridges with our boss when we get laid off, or mouth off to a cop when we get pulled over. But those feelings don’t go anywhere; we just carry them around!
Feelings only move on after you feel them.
It’s the work of a grown-up to set emotions to the side AND to pick them back up again. Easy to say, damn hard to do! Re-engaging with hard sh*t is, well, hard. And showing up with decorum when you’re seething inside…also hard.
Adulting is Hard Work Alone (Especially Parenting)
I don’t know many people who have managed to do these things alone, with no help. And I see this as the most important work we can do as parents, which is why I have dedicated my career to helping myself and others achieve this goal. When we do, the relationships we can cultivate with our children are wondrous!
Ready to give it a try? Set up a free Discovery Call with me and let’s see how I can help you create the parenting experience you truly desire.
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